EDS sometimes gets the best of you!
I finished my 5th Half Marathon yesterday. I feel worse than ANY race I completed this
year. That list includes 4 other half
marathons, a half ironman, a full ironman aquabike, and
countless others races. What makes this one different? Well.. Ehlers Danlos
Syndrome has a mind of its own!
EDS sucks. I've said
it before but I don’t really dwell on it because I can’t do anything about
it. The most I can do is give my best
efforts. I’m not sure many people
actually understand what it’s like to be held hostage by an invisible
illness. We see lots of stories of
courage for fighting horrible circumstances and defeating cancer. We all love to hear these stories and watch
the athletes succeed! And we can sort of relate because we can ‘see’ what they
went through. I cry at the Kona stories every time! Those of us with the ‘invisible’ illnesses
just appear weak, out of shape, or just ‘ hypochondriacs.’
I know all of you that read by blog, support my story. This
is really for me and for my EDS readers! They need to hear this and know they aren't alone. I do have a small group of
EDS athletes that I can look to for support.
I haven’t been able to connect with a bigger group, because many either
have been told they DON’T have EDS because they are active, or just haven’t
sought out support online. I do have a
group, join us if you like: http://www.facebook.com/groups/365331673525025/
I want the athletes of EDS to have a voice, and to not feel
shunned. I personally feel a bit shunned
from the community because I can do so much, and I also feel like an outsider
in my athletic community because I’m so damn slow. Sometimes the EDS just
sucks the life out of me. I’m stuck between
two worlds! But I’m a fighter.. so here
I am!
I had a great season, no dramatic problems, just
annoyances. But this week I am
HURTING! I completed the Newport Half
Marathon on Sunday. I started the race
with the intention of walking! Well the
gun went off and I jogged and FELT GREAT! So I kept up that jog for the first 7
miles! I jog/walk when I do a
‘run.’ I am really lucky to hit a 15 min
mile with my ‘run.’ Now I excel at
biking and swimming because I can keep a forced alignment in my body. Running is a completely different ballgame. I
have to think about each step, make sure that I’m in alignment, and hope for
the best. Chi Running makes a huge
difference, but unfortunately it’s not 100% for me.
My arch usually collapses part way through a run/ ANY
RUN. I’m used to it. Except on this race, both collapsed and it
felt like someone had a flaming hot poker and was jamming it into my foot with
every step! I know I’m not normal; I am
usually in pain 90% of the time, but this was a bit over the top. That
comes with EDS, and I've learned to just manage. Some days it’s tough and almost impossible to
‘push through.’
About mile 9, I wanted to remove my feet. Then I felt my
hips were out and my sacrum was crooked!
LOVELY! Yes I dislocate and
sublux all the time. Both hips were out
of place, this means that my femoral head was rubbing on the tip of my hip
joint --- WITH EVERY STEP. Needless to say, I couldn't figure out which hurt
worse, my hips or feet. I knew I was close, just a little over a 5K to go and
let’s face it; I wanted to get my medal and take a picture of it with my crazy
nails.
We finished, as MARATHONERS were also finishing! We got our medals, wondered over to get some
chicken soup, and found our way back to the car. I still felt like I could walk
at that point.
When I got home and tried to get out of the car, I had to
use my arms to lift me up! I knew I was
in trouble! I immediately took
ibuprofen, and then tried to put my feet in an icebath. OMG first time I tried that, PAINFUL! I lasted about 2 min, and then just moved
onto ICE. I iced my collapsed arches and
my wrecked hips. I attached my TENS
machine and tried to lie on the couch. I
knew I needed HEAT on my quads, but how to get heat there and ice elsewhere...
so I iced, then went into the hottub, then back to ice. It was an interesting
routine. (Can someone please invent an
icepack that would work IN the hottub)?
As the day wore on, I realized that my quads had ceased to
function. AWESOME! I could not get up once I sat down! This made
the toilet my ENEMY! I turned on the
percussion massager and basically took a bath in Biofreeze. I woke up the next day with the same problem,
it would take me 20 seconds or so to actually stand up, then once I started
walking I was somewhat ok. I continued
to biofreeze, percussion massage, TENS machine, Ice, Ibuprofen (Physical
therapy at my house)! I tried to get into my massage therapist, but she was
booked!
Today, 3 days later I can finally use my legs. They still hurt but at least they
FUNCTION! At first I wrote this off to
EDS, and then I got nervous “what if I did something?” so I asked an ironman
friend and super athlete. I asked if he
ever felt like this, his answer “YES AFTER AN IRONMAN – and every race is
different!”
Well, I was still freaked out; I did a half marathon up Mt
Greylock (2200 ft climb in first 3 miles).
I did a Half Ironman: swam 1.2 miles, biked a hilly 56, then ran 13.1 in
90 degrees, and I didn't feel like THIS with either of those extreme
races. I felt awesome after the Ironman
distance aquabike: 2.4 mile swim and 112 mile bike.
My friend was right, every race is different! And EDS doesn't give a shit what you’re doing
that day, when it wants you, it takes you!
So my EDS peeps, you aren't alone. Even in this pain I think
about my race schedule for next year and still get excited about the races! Yup, I like punishment!
**to find my other EDS posts, type "EDS" into the search box on the right to search my blog!
I dont know what to say other than, be careful and keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteI feel like we're in the same boat, I feel bad for being able to function at the level I do, but I do not fit in amungst athletes bc I can not train or get on a eating schedule simply bc EDS does not allow it. I struggles the whole summer to get in the best shape in my life and 2 weeks ago I had what I call a 'crash'. I had zero energy, it hurt to move, my cognitive function was barely there, my gastric motility was all fired up and I've been fighting TMJ from hell. I started back at the gym two days ago after being out for about 2 weeks and I feel like I'm back at square one. Tired, unfocused and squishy. I feel like I'm bloated and weight about 15 pounds more than I do. It's so frustrating but I know I can not compare myself to the average person ;-/ Keep on fighting the good fight!
ReplyDeleteWow, Laura, that's truly awesome. How awful to feel shunned even within the EDS community. I don't feel shunned so much, but I am a bit outside, as I still have a job. I do feel very very fortunate for that, when EDS does take so many down. The last time I ran was in Kona, I did an easy jog with Stu Mittelman, and we looked at the gorgeous ocean and scenery. Good memory. I get shin splints now from walking too much.
ReplyDeleteWhat I meant to write is 'YOU GO GRRL!' :D
I, for one, as someone who can't function as well as you would *love* to see you and more people with EDS who can function better or push through their particular problems more in some of the online groups I'm in. I feel like a lot of them spend a lot of time talking about the severe end and it can turn into a pity party. I feel like if you're being consciously shunned then I certainly want to know if the groups I'm in do it so I can speak up about the problem (and leave if that doesn't work). Not only do I think people on all ends of the EDS spectrum deserve to have the support and the place they can talk about their problems and triumphs with EDS, but I'm sure there are things that I can learn from you that will help my life, even though I haven't been able to be an athlete for 10 years, and there may be things from my life that would help you. I'm also just plain getting sick of the part where people seem to only talk about how horrible EDS and how it's ruined their life and how it's impossible to function "normally" because that's all BS and it's like they want to ignore the people who can function better because it reminds them that EDS is not necessarily this horrible, limiting thing. Everyone who has EDS has a different experience and I think it's important for all sorts of people to have a voice in the community. Personally, I don't feel angry or jealous that you can do what you can do as an athlete or that the Anonymous poster works; it's just that you both are dealing with different things than I am and are having a different experience of EDS.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I hope that made sense. I'm excited to find your blog, though, and am going to start following :-)
I find this a constant annoyance that people with something more visual and tangible are "succeeding in spite of..." and are therefore brave. If someone with an invisible condition does anything it simply tells the outsider that the condition cannot be real. If someone with no legs climbs a mountain he is considered to genuinely have no legs (who can argue with that?) but he has overcome. If I were to climb a mountain it would only tell the world that I have been faking all these years and am not in real pain after all. I get scared to be seen doing anything in case people think it means I'm not really sick. Insurance and "medical" people think that they can see pain, if they photograph me standing somewhere "in no visible discomfort" then clearly there is, and never was, anything wrong with me. If the guy with no legs climbs a mountain it doesn't mean his legs grew back, but it seems to have that meaning in EDS, and I hate that.
ReplyDeleteyo te felicito laura, no me puedo imaginar como practicas esos de portes tan pesados sufriendo de EDS, es incredible tu valentia, que DIOS TE BENDIGA.
ReplyDelete